who's fault?

i don't say this facetiously or sarcastically. i realize most of us don't really have as much of a choice as we would like to regarding the people we feel obliged to communicate with. but honestly, where do some of us get the idea that we have to pursue an active relationship with those who live completely foolish lives if we don't have any kind of positive impact on them. one might say. "well you never know! maybe they will change!". first, hypothesis is not a good grounds for remaining miserable or stressed out. we are not responsible for curtailing the natural consequences that befall people who do whatever they want to do. secondly, we have to examine our own hearts in situations like this. are we really doing what we do for their benefit, or are we doing it to make ourselves feel like the good guy? problem is, if we set ourselves up for some kind of fallout because of what we saw was coming, it totally removes our "goodness" when we bitch and moan about how so and so is screwing up my life, and they don't appreciate anything i do, and they owe me respect or whatever. if you are someone who thinks that way, yer living on the wrong planet. humans suck, regardless of your idealism and optimism. you are only in charge of you. even if you are raising children, you don't have as much effect on their future as you would like to think you do. third, and most important, God's word talks about "fools" or people who are "evil" countless times. what, you think you aren't related to any, or hang around them (hopefully you don't)? Jesus said that if we follow Him, we have to make hard choices about the people we associate with.
Matt. 36 - 39 “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. "And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.".
anything or anyone that does not bring you closer to God is an enemy. it doesn't mean we should hate anyone or treat someone badly, and regardless of how screwed up someone's choices are, we should still assist them if they have no food or shelter. but there is a very clear line, and if we don't stay on God's side of that line, we will suffer for no good reason. summing up, i leave you with this awesome verse from proverbs 1.
Blessed is the man
who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
but his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.

true to thyself

for a very long time, i have wondered to myself, "why am i not pursuing music by the same methods that all these other musicians are?". i can only answer that now. i have to be in full control of my music. my songs are like my children. i don't want ANYONE else raising them the way THEY think is right. it's really only been within the last few years that a musician can record, mix and master at a professional level themselves at a relatively inexpensive cost. it has also not been possible to distribute, market and promote music effectively without outside help until the advent of internet music sites like noisetrade, and self distribution sites like cd baby. i literally am in control of every aspect of all my music through my own actual record label, leik nel. i receive all royalties, and control price and availability. my music will not go "out of print" because a label isn't making enough profit to justify the proliferation of my albums. i don't get input from anyone. i make music that i like, and if i sell albums in that process, i am thrilled. but most importantly, i make music because i love making music, and i write lyrics that point to Jesus as the source of all that is good. i have no pressure from anyone to change one iota musically or lyrically. this would not have been possible on the scale that i am now working even 2 years ago. every dog has his day. God is good.

mourir seul - you're little (original demo)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhBayfHcehA

new song

this is a demo of a song i just wrote. got some work to do on it, but i like it a lot. yes i know it has a bowie vibe in the vocals. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhBayfHcehA

drivel

i wrote this as a response to a thread on a "christian" music page a long time ago. i was new to the internet so i didn't know not to use all caps. now i try to make up for it by using caps only in reference to God. :)



"HI,
  THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE BEEN INVOLVED IN ANY KIND OF ONLINE
DISCUSSION, BUT I FELT COMPELLED TO RESPOND BECAUSE OF THE SUBJECT
MATTER. I AM A 32 YEAR OLD MALE CHRISTIAN WHO ALSO HAPPENS TO WRITE
AND PRODUCE MY OWN MUSIC. I HAVE'NT BEEN A CHRISTIAN ALL MY LIFE, OR
EVEN A MAJORITY, BUT WHEN I WAS BORN AGAIN, IT WAS A TREMENDOUS
CHANGE IN EVERY AREA OF MY LIFE. GOD HAS TURNED ON MY INTELLECT AND
CREATIVITY IN A WAY THAT I NEVER WOULD HAVE IMAGINED POSSIBLE.
  FROM A MUSICIAN'S PERSPECTIVE, I BELIEVE CREATING ANY KIND OF ART IS
AN EXPRESSION OF SPIRITUAL AND EMOTIONAL RELEASE. MANY MUSICIANS
CRAFT MUSIC THAT WILL APPEAL TO THE MASSES, AND CAUSE THE GENERAL
PUBLIC TO SING ALONG WITH THEIR CATCHY TUNES. BUT I BELIEVE TRUE
ARTISTS EXPRESS WHO THEY ARE AND WHAT THEY BELEIVE IN THROUGH THEIR
MUSIC. I DON'T WANT TO BELITTLE ANYONE BECAUSE EVERYONE HAS THEIR
PLACE AND PURPOSE, BUT MANY PEOPLE IN BANDS OR MAKING MUSIC ARE NOT
SINCERELY COMMITTING TO REALISM OR HONESTY IN WHAT THEY ARE DOING.
IT'S POSSIBLE THAT I COULD BE MISINTERPETING SHALLOWNESS OF CHARACTER
OR LACK OF GENUINESS FOR BLATANT COMMERCIALISM, SO I CAN'T BE SURE OF
ANYONE'S MOTIVES. BUT I CAN TELL YOU THAT FROM A BIBLICAL
PERSPECTIVE, I BELIEVE THAT GOD WOULD PREFER AN ATHEIST BEING HONEST
AND INTROSPECTIVE OVER ANYONE(SAVED OR NOT) JUST SAYING A BUNCH OF
WORDS THAT BEAR NO RESEMBLANCE TO THE AUTHORS HEART, OR EVEN WORSE,
ARE DECEITFUL IN THEIR PRESENTATION OF THE SINGER OR BAND. IF SOMEONE
IS SINGING SONGS FOR ANY OTHER REASON THAN EXPRESSION, HOW CAN YOU
CALL THIS CREATIVITY? ANYONE WITH SOME MINIMAL TALENT IN THE RIGHT
PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME CAN MAKE SOME CASH SELLING RECORDS, BUT MOST
PEOPLE CAN'T EVEN BE HONEST ABOUT WHAT REALLY MATTERS, WITH THEIR
FRIENDS OR EVEN GOD, MUCH LESS THE RECORD BUYING PUBLIC. JESUS SAID
IN REVELATION 3:15-16, "I KNOW ALL THE THINGS YOU DO, THAT YOU ARE
NEITHER HOT NOR COLD. I WISH YOU WERE ONE OR THE OTHER! BUT SINCE YOU
ARE LIKE LUKEWARM WATER, I WILL SPIT YOU OUT OF MY MOUTH."
  GOD KNOWS OUR HEARTS, AND I TRULY THINK SINCERITY IS A FIRST
REQUIREMENT TO COME TO GOD. MANY WITHIN THE CHURCH STRUCTURE ARE NOT
TRUE BELIEVERS IN THE PIVOTAL SENSE OF THE WORD, AND THIS SEEMS VERY
PREVALENT AMONG CHRISTIAN MUSIC FANS. THIS IS A GENERALIZATION, AND
DOES NOT APPLY UNIVERSALLY, BUT I HAVE SEEN A TRUE LACK OF REALNEES
IN THE CHRISTIAN MUSIC SCENE THAT RIVALS NON-BELIEVERS. OFCOURSE THE
PROBLEM LIES WITHIN THE LACK OF VISION TO EVEN RECOGNIZE THE ABSENCE
OF THE HOLY SPIRIT FOR THOSE WHO HAVE IT IN THE HEAD BUT NOT THE
HEART. OUR HEARTS ARE DECEITFULLY WICKED, SO WE
DON'T EVEN KNOW WHEN WE ARE LYING TO OURSELVES ABOUT MONUMENTAL
SUBJECT MATTER, SUCH AS OUR OWN SALVATION!
  MY POINT IS, THE REASON ALOT OF CHRISTIAN MUSIC FAILS TO ILICIT A
RESPONSE FROM MOST PEOPLE THE WAY SECULAR MUSIC DOES, IS BECAUSE MOST
PEOPLE LIKE TO LISTEN TO LYRICS AND MUSIC THAT SPEAK TO THEM ON A
PERSONAL LEVEL. I PERSONALLY DON'T GET THAT OUT OF ANY BAND THAT
SPOUTS CARDBOARD, EMPTY WORDS THAT ANYONE COULD WRITE DOWN WITHOUT
ANY REAL DEPTH. JOY AND PAIN STEM FROM VERY DEEP WITHIN US, AND TO BE
IN TOUCH WITH OUR TRUE SELVES IS GOD'S INTENTION. FOR AN ARTIST, WHY
WASTE SUCH AN OPPORTUNITY ON MINDLESS DRIVEL? JESUS DIDN'T.
                 




                      GOD IS LOVE"

Yeah right! pt.3

He is a rock. What he does is perfect. All his ways are fair. He is a faithful God, who does no wrong. He is honorable and reliable. 

Deut 32:4 (GW)

God's way is perfect! 

Psalms 18:30 (GW)

The teachings of the Lord are perfect. They renew the soul. The testimony of the Lord is dependable. It makes gullible people wise. 

Psalms 19:7 (GW)

God shines from Zion, the perfection of beauty. 

Psalms 50:2 (GW)

If you love those who love you, do you deserve a reward? Even the tax collectors do that! Are you doing anything remarkable if you welcome only your friends? Everyone does that! That is why you must be perfect as your Father in heaven is perfect. 

Matt 5:46-48 (GW)

How can we possibly be perfect? We can’t. Then why did Jesus say this? To point out that we can’t! And this, once again, is what separates us from God. But because God loves us so much, He has actually taken care of that problem Himself. 

Then Peter, because he was filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them, “Rulers and leaders of the people, today you are cross-examining us about the good we did for a crippled man. You want to know how he was made well. You and all the people of Israel must understand that this man stands in your presence with a healthy body because of the power of Jesus Christ from Nazareth. You crucified Jesus Christ, but God has brought him back to life. He is the stone that the builders rejected, the stone that has become the cornerstone. No one else can save us. Indeed, we can be saved only by the power of the one named Jesus and not by any other person.” 

Acts 4:8-12 (GW)

Salvation – the deliverance of man or his soul from the power or penalty of sin; redemption

If you need a more thorough examination of the means of being saved by God from the penalties for what you have done wrong, I highly suggest you read my other blog “The Simple Truth”.

The bible speaks of man’s natural state of imperfection which is in need of saving several times.

The human mind is the most deceitful of all things. It is incurable. No one can understand how deceitful it is. 

Jer 17:9 (GW)

Jesus said, “Don't you understand yet? Don't you know that whatever goes into the mouth goes into the stomach and then into a toilet? But whatever goes out of the mouth comes from within, and that's what makes a person unclean. Evil thoughts, murder, adultery, {other} sexual sins, stealing, lying, and cursing come from within. These are the things that make a person unclean. 

Matt 15:16-20 (GW)

We have all strayed like sheep. Each one of us has turned to go his own way, and the Lord has laid all our sins on him. 

Isaiah 53:6 (GW)

The corrupt nature's attitude leads to death. But the spiritual nature's attitude leads to life and peace. This is so because the corrupt nature has a hostile attitude toward God. It refuses to place itself under the authority of God's standards because it can't. Those who are under the control of the corrupt nature can't please God. 

Romans 8:5-9 (GW)

God was pleased to have all of himself live in Christ. God was also pleased to bring everything on earth and in heaven back to himself through Christ. He did this by making peace through Christ's blood sacrificed on the cross. Once you were separated from God. The evil things you did showed your hostile attitude. But now Christ has brought you back to God by dying in his physical body. He did this so that you could come into God's presence without sin, fault, or blame. 

Col 1:19-22 (GW)

Sin came into the world through one person, and death came through sin. So death spread to everyone, because everyone sinned. Sin was in the world before there were any laws. But no record of sin can be kept when there are no laws. Yet, death ruled from the time of Adam to the time of Moses, even over those who did not sin in the same way Adam did when he disobeyed. 

Romans 5:12-14 (GW)

Since you are stubborn and don't want to change the way you think and act, you are adding to the anger that God will have against you on that day when God vents his anger. At that time God will reveal that his decisions are fair. He will pay all people back for what they have done. He will give everlasting life to those who search for glory, honor, and immortality by persisting in doing what is good. But he will bring anger and fury on those who, in selfish pride, refuse to believe the truth and who follow what is wrong. There will be suffering and distress for every person who does evil, for Jews first and non-Jews as well. But there will be glory, honor, and peace for every person who does what is good, for Jews first and non-Jews as well. God does not play favorites. 

Romans 2:5-11 (GW)

These passages clearly divide humanity into two categories. Those who live by their own rules, and those who try to live the way God wants us to. Those who make it up as they go are driven by their own passions and desires. Selfishness is their natural inclination. And although they cannot be aware of it, they are not good. Those who are born again and live to serve God have the advantage of God’s Spirit within them guiding them and letting them see how things really are, including their own selfishness. And because they also inherit God’s righteousness when they enter a relationship with Jesus, they now have the choice to do what is right, as opposed to being naturally inclined toward that which is wrong. Of course, those who follow Jesus are still not “good”, as evidenced by their own thoughts and actions even after being redeemed by Jesus’ death and resurrection. But because they have accepted the fact that they are not good, and now rely on God’s goodness, they are now seen as being good through the shed blood of Christ. C.S. Lewis said in the amazing primer of faith “Mere Christianity” that the reason many reject following Jesus is because the ideas behind who He is and what He really did are not simple enough for our minds to fully process. He said that this alone makes it obvious that the bible is truly the word of God, and not man. If Christianity were an invention of the human mind, it would be simple and easy to digest. It would also be appealing to what we want to hear about ourselves. It definitely isn’t a happy happy joy joy concept that all of us are self centered, deceitful and just plain bad in our natural state. And then that the only way to rectify the problem of our separation from God is through God Himself coming here and enduring horrible, undeserved pain and suffering which led to His eventual death and short term residence in hell. Paul, who wrote most of the letters in the New Testament, and is considered to be an outstanding vessel of God, bringing millions of people to the knowledge of salvation through Christ wrote:

I know that nothing good lives in me; that is, nothing good lives in my corrupt nature. Although I have the desire to do what is right, I don't do it. 

Romans 7:18 (GW)

Many people claim that they are good, or righteous. Yet this man, whom God used extensively within His own communication to us, states clearly that he himself is not good! How arrogant for any of us to believe that we are good.

When you are driving and someone cuts you off, what is your initial instinct? And if someone at work cusses you out, how would you react if you did not utilize self-control? Most would admit that our reaction in these scenarios would not lean toward the kindly. How could a naturally good creature summon these initial reactions? Not possible. The whole idea of there being One who is actually good is the crux of our distorted perception. We deal with so much ego, that without a full understanding of God, we tend to feel worthless and hopeless if we truly ponder our own bad behavior and thoughts. But when we are able to accept that Jesus sees every one of us as equally worthy to die for, we are able to alleviate some of that potential self loathing. You need to understand that if you were the only human ever born, and you were imperfect, He still would have died so that you could be redeemed through His sacrifice. Good for bad.

Then, brothers and sisters, firmly hold on to the traditions we taught you either when we spoke to you or in our letter. God our Father loved us and by his kindness gave us everlasting encouragement and good hope. Together with our Lord Jesus Christ, may he encourage and strengthen you to do and say everything that is good. 

2 Thess 2:15-17 (GW)

Certainly, there is no one so righteous on earth that he always does what is good and never sins. 

Eccl 7:20 (GW)

trusting God not man

i consider myself very sensitive to God's Holy Spirit. i have had many experiences since i started following Jesus that reinforce my knowledge that God is always speaking to me, if i am willing to hear him. sometimes i am in situations where God tells me something in the spirit, and it creates a great degree of awkwardness or second guessing if it is God or my own issues affecting me. awhile ago, i heard God speaking to me about someone that i had begun to hang around with and was in a position of leadership over the ministry i was involved with. i was dealing with repetitive intuitions about something hidden that was not cool actively taking place. i decided to confront him. when i did, he was very incredulous and would not acknowledge there were issues. but that voice didn't subside. in fact, it just got more pronounced. like i said, i sometimes deal with guilt when i feel that way without actually knowing for sure that there is hidden sin. summary is, it was recently disclosed that i was definetely hearing the voice of God. he was not living the way he was trying to be perceived. i tell you, if you have been born again by God's spirit, don't doubt the things He tells you. even if it endangers what you believe to be a friendship. this is a transcription of the correspondence we exchanged at the time of my confronting him. so sad.


August 9, 2011


8:33am  Len Kiel - i'll be honest  NAME DELETED - . i don't even know why, but i am concerned about things at terra, and you in particular. i have felt for awhile that i only see part of you. that you are very selective about what you reveal, which is pretty standard behavior in humans anyway. but i have a vibe that something significant has happened to you internally, maybe as a result of something you have done, or experienced recently. honestly i don't see this as anything that is my business, and the less i know the better. i just wanted to let you know what i believe has transpired. i pray for you regularly and hope i am off, but i don't think i am. peace


8:42am NAME DELETED - it has felt very busy lately and I do feel often that I'm just trying to keep my head above water. I'm sure that this has shown itself in the time I have invested into our friendship, in comparison to what it used to be. And for that I'm sorry. At the same time, I thought we had reached a place in our friendship where we could be honest with each other. Where I could challenge you in some areas that I think you are missing it. I do this, not out of superiority, but out of love and an outside perspective. Maybe that has bothered you?


9:01am  Len Kiel - confrontation is not really a problem for me. i think if anything connected to that area, i just don't believe anything fruitful will come from being more involved with social interactions. i am a sinner and God is the only reason i have hope, but i feel like i have totally different priorities and most importantly, a very different view of God than anyone else i've met. i guess i see myself as unattached to this world where others depend on people and situations rather than God. i recognize the need for food and shelter to survive, but i totally look at God as being the only source of those things as well as everything else. to me, it seems like most americans (especially, but i'm sure it is common in any part of the developed world) worry about SO much. and not just the essentials. i think they worry about their careers, their mortgages, their health and anything else that they can find to worry about. this is NOT trusting God. it is not my righteousness that makes me truly depenadant on God, because i have none. it is His proven goodness over the last 23 years. He has NEVER let me down. not once. He has intervened in situations that i brought upon myself to take care of me when i deserved the consequences of my actions. He has always guided me in the path toward Him when i have become distracted. when i talk to people that are professing christians, more than not, i hear them talking about things that have nothing to do with God. it really bothers me. and that's at church. i just wonder how much time the average christian in this country spends thinking about how amazing Jesus is, compared to the time they spend thinking or fretting about career, finances, family, relationship, church stuff, vehicles, vacations, music, television etc.. once again, this is not a proclamation of self righteousness, because i am selfish and evil. but that is what makes me so thankful to God that He still loves me, and even more so takes care of me beyond anything i could imagine. i just feel alienated from the way the people (including christians) are so caught up in what i find irrelevant. i am not a new christian, so you can't just blow it off as me still being in the honeymoon phase. and i hope i never lose that drive to not let anything else crowd out my focus on Jesus. because He is the only reason i have anyhting good. so the stuff itself means nothing. i don't expect you to see this as rational, but i don't see the lifestyle and mentality that seems to be so prevalent in america as rational either. and i don't want to be in a constant state of feeling op-positional to people who i supposedly have the most important factor we could have in common. so the less contact i have, the less i will judge or be abrasive. i don't think i'm better or more spiritual than anyone else. i'm just not as distracted. and i still sense that something has taken place in your life.


9:19am NAME DELETED - We have certainly discussed the above plenty. I'm very clear on it. We disagree on parts of it. I'm fine with that. I love you and Chelsie. I value your friendship. I would love to actually talk about this face to face. But at the same time, I don't want to have to convince someone to be my friend. I believe I have been a good friend and pastor to you. I have worked hard to understand your perspective. I have confronted out of love. I have embraced you regardless of whether we see eye to eye. I have been completely honest with you. I have not told you every detail of my life only because I don't believe our friendship has reached that point yet. I am here and willing to continue our friendship in whatever form you choose. I will leave that up to you.


9:35am  Len Kiel - you have been very accepting of me. but i guess my issue is that you are in ministry and it's not just about me, or friendship. your relationship with God needs to be a relationship that is above and beyond a christian who is not in ministry. i wouldn't expect you to share all the details of your life with me. but being that you are a pastor, transparency is a very important factor. once again, not for my sake, but those who trust your guidance in general. if you are not making an effort to constantly be honest with those who you have an accountability to beyond your peers, this could have effects in the negative that you have no control over, regardless of your intent. once again, i don't have a clue where this vibe comes from, but i don't believe it is unfounded. you don't owe me anything, but God wants anyone in any leadership position to be honest even in areas that are difficult to communicate.


9:56am NAME DELETED - I appreciate your concern. I am in completely accountability with my wife and the other 4 pastors at terra, as they are with me. This has been in place for years. We are open about our weaknesses, struggles, temptations, and sin. It's a very healthy situation. If you have any more questions, feel free to contact me and we'll get together and talk. Thanks.


9:59am  Len Kiel - okay man. i am sorry if i have mistaken the vibe for something significant when it isn't. i don't want to falsely accuse, and i know it wouldn't be fair to say that i demand your transparency yet not be willing to hang out. i dunno. i just get weird vibes toward something at terra and you in particular. but i won't assume the worst. i know that my discernment isn't accurate at times. like i said, i don't feel like you owe me anything. the concern keeps haunting me though.August 11, 2011


12:09pm NAME DELETED - hey man..


12:09pm  Len Kiel - hola


12:11pm NAME DELETED - just checking in to see if we're ok. I'm kind of confused by this turn in our friendship..


12:12pm  Len Kiel - i have nothing against you at all. but i will admit i'm wary. but like i said earlier, i feel very cautious toward everyone, especially those that are active participants in churches. i just feel like we aren't truly close. but that's probably because i am cautious!i don't really feel cautious toward people that don't wear a badge of christianity because i know they are spiritually blind already!


12:14pm NAME DELETED - i just don't understand where that came from, specifically with me...


12:16pm  Len Kiel - i think it was partially due to comments that you have made in the past collectively. also what appears to be a lack of focus on God practically (in conversation, facebook stuff), your obsession with music, what appears to be a decreasing joy in leading worship.and i feel strongly that there is a huge, significant factor/event that would have a huge impact on how people view you that most are not aware of.


12:18pm NAME DELETED - i am quite focused on God, but don't see FB and the scorecard for my spiritual life.*as my scorecard for my spiritual life..i know we disagree on this, and thats ok..im not sure what the collective comments are that I've made in the past, so its impossible for me to reply to thatim not obsessed with music, it is a hobby and past of my job.and i have had no significant factor/event that has affected my life. well thats not true, there were a few events years ago (literally decades) that did, but that is not a factor any more...we all have times in past lives that we are not proud of...


12:23pm  Len Kiel - there isn't anything that is a scorecard for our spiritual life. but i know from my own experience with God that when i am focused on Him, i express it like second nature. when i am not focused on god, especially if i am practicing a behavior that i know i shouldn't be, i become very mute in that area, and when i attempt to be "spiritual" it comes off as forced and has even made me feel uncomfortable or kind of gross or something. i become very conscious of my counterfeit enthusiasm for God and what i should be living. it has happened at many points in the last 23 years.


12:27pm NAME DELETED - i can understand what you are saying. I wouldn't disagree with it. BUT not would I say it is the same for everyone. In the same way that when I worship in a congregational setting, I feel that i need to physically express my worship (as much as I can with a guitar around my neck..)


12:28pm NAME DELETED - but I don't automatically disbelieve someone's worship when they just stare at the screen and softly sing a song...


12:28pm  Len Kiel - like i said, i don't feel like you owe me anything. we don't hang out so it doesn't affect me directly. but because we have hung out before, i do have a degree of emotional investment in who you are, and most importantly, your relationship with Jesus. the teaching is right on at terra, so as long as that doesn't change, we will continue to attend. i believe many of the people who go to terra have very different priorities than chelsea and i though, so i have no desire to expand my connectivity within the congregation. but this is not a new tropic.


12:30pm  Len Kiel - once again, i don't see myself as better, or more spiritual. just not distracted by stuff that i find useless. i don't judge people because they are in to the stuff they are into, but i like being able to not feel owned by the parts of life that have nothing to do with Jesus.


12:36pm NAME DELETED - but you are as...into....music as I am, possibly moreso, its just that its YOUR music that you are creating....that isn't any more "spiritual" then me listening to music I love, talking about it, and learning from it, so like I can help make our worship experience at Terra something that resonates with people and allow their worship to flow...


12:37pm NAME DELETED - what would be your "ideal" in our friendship and the amount we are invested into each other?


12:52pm  Len Kiel -  NAME DELETED - , i can't really say that i've ever experienced friendship in the way that people generally experience friendship. i'm guessing that it is mainly because i did not grow up in a family environment. but i think i also have a view of friendship that is different from the standard. i see most people's friendships, by my standards, as friendly acquaintances. a friend to me is someone that i can be willing to trust to the extent of not being concerned about being betrayed in any way. i do have a few people that i have known for a very long time that might actually fall in to that category. and chelsea is definitely in that category. but i just don't have enough experience with anyone outside of the very small group that i trust. i don't think that experience comes from tribes or church activities either. people are very selective about what they present to others. and i have been involved in enough churches to see, consistently, that people wearing the "christian" label are more prone to be artificial, because in their mind, they have more at stake. i know this is somewhat paradoxical because you have to be around people to get to know them, but i feel very in touch with God when i don't spread myself so thin. i was very involved in church, home study groups, christian music ministry etc., while i was practicing some of the most destructive sin i have ever committed, while appearing to most as a really "christian" guy. and i've seen many others, including pastors in the churches i attended do the same. i am aware that the bible encourages church unity, but i believe that the model presented by paul and other writers is nowhere near the level of commitment to God and accountability to each other as it was in that setting. i find that the people i trust most at terra are the ones who are alot more expressive about areas of their lives that most people won't even consider expressing. observations about one's own temptations, shortcomings and failures is a far more accurate presentation of who a person is than shallow expressions that most are inclined toward.


1:02pm NAME DELETED - so you're saying that if I were to not only talk about God more on FB, but also express my temptations, shortcomings, and failures, I would somehow prove that I am trustworthy?


1:05pm  Len Kiel - no. i'm saying that after a longer amount of time, it's possible that i would see that you are not only who you present yourself as, but also see that we had the same views of Jesus in a practical way, i would feel more inclined to hang out. it's not like i've replaced you. i only hang out with chelsea, and before her i stayed singular.


1:06pm NAME DELETED - I'm not saying agree or am going to do what I just asked. I'm just trying to figure out exactly what you're saying...it just seems strange to me to say that you will somehow know me better, more authentically, if I post certain things on FB, then you will if we spend time together and talk...


1:11pm  Len Kiel - i am saying that it's not like we have hung out much in the last year or so. the times we have hung out recently, in addition to my perception on what i have seen on sundays have made me become cautious. if i'm off it sucks. but i'm sure you have reservations toward many people you encounter as well. i don't see you as singled out in my concerns. it's just that i have actually had conversations with you, whereas, i haven't with most terra people or pastors. but i feel a general cautiousness toward most there, and in the american church scene in general. but i hav a different perception of you now, than i did say, last year. observations and such. if i'm off it really doesn't matter because i don't share my opinions with others (chelsea and i discuss things) because i don't communicate with people, and even if i did talk to others, it wouldn't be any of their business how i view anyone aside from them.


1:18pm NAME DELETED - i get it. and i understand your general cautiousness towards people. I am not quite as..fixated ..on it as you, but i get it, and wouldn't try to convince you otherwise. what i don't understand is 1. what was different in the last few conversations we had? and 2. other than what you stated earlier (lack of joy in worship (which is not true), obsession with music (also not true), and what I post, or actually DON'T post on FB, what has changed? These things above are huge unfair assumptions.


1:20pm NAME DELETED - i thought we were having enjoyable conversations. and all the responses i got from both you and chelsie were "we like this and want to do it more...".you have to understand, this is quite confusing..


1:25pm  Len Kiel - well we did enjoy it until mainly the last time we hung out. i can't speak for chelsea, but i just don't see the same way you do about what we Need as opposed to what we think we need. what we rely on God for, as opposed to not relying on god. this is not uncommon for me. i see most people who claim to be christians as being very sketchy on what that even means, so it isn't surprising that people don't see God as He really is. i don't know why people have faith only up to certain points, but i just don't see God like that. i am very non invested in things that seem to be the focus for others. i have to go to sleep now, but if you have any specific questions in addition to the ones above lemme know. and remember, i'm just some dude.


1:32pm NAME DELETED - k. but you're not just some dude. You are my friend. I wouldn't take this kind of time for most people. I also hate misunderstandings. Its one thing for people to understand each other and disagree. Its another thing for people to not understand each other, and then make assumptions about what they like/dislike, agree/disagree. I will work hard to make sure I understand someone, and they understand me. And if we find we disagree, then we decide if its the kind of thing that keeps us from having a relationship or not. Everything you have stated is observed from your limited point of view. You have misunderstood much of who I am (as Im sure I have of you). To see a relationship dimish due to wrong assumptions is not something I will easily let go.sleep well, my friend...


1:57pm NAME DELETED - Although I don't think there is anything wrong or God-displeasing with what I post on FB, and nor do I think I am anymore "spiritual" or "Godly" based on how much "spiritual talk" I post, I do feel led based on our conversations to think and pray about what could be accomplished better for the kingdom through my interactions on FB. I post stuff about my family bc I love them and are proud of them. No problems there. I post about music simply bc I love it and I find music, as do you, that I think is beautiful, creative, and I want people to know about it. I have talked to so many people that have come into wonderful art that you and I love, due to my posts.BUT, I agree I don't post much god-talk. Mostly bc I find this to be deeper and more important than a mere FB post. I do this type of talking multiple times a week, in person, for hours, with both Christians and non-Christians, which is much more valuable than simply posting a scripture (which the Christians appreciate and the non-Christians mostly don't get nor investigate typically).BUT our conversation has prompted me to consider that there is a way to be found to post things that give glory to God, encourage others, and introduce Him to non-believers, that isn't a cheap one-sentance blurb that is mostly confusing to those outside of Christianity. Im not sure what that looks like yet, nor have I seen it much on FB, but I will continue trying to figure it out. Thank you for spurring this on in me...

Yeah right! pt. 2

When World War II ended in 1945, the entire Jewish secular and religious culture in Europe had been obliterated, and from 5.6 million to 5.9 million Jews had been exterminated. Some 1.5 million of the victims were children.

We must keep in mind that all of this was accomplished by the means of what was considered to be not only a legitimate, but also an influential government that had been legally elected by the public. The world’s reactions to Hitler’s actions were also initially not fearful or concerned, but more aligned towards apathy. “As long as it doesn't happen to us!” many said. The “Church” was also supportive of Hitler. That this chapter of recent history was even able to transpire tells me two things.
1. Humans are not inherently good.
2. Good intentions do not mean that good will be the result of those intentions.
What do you believe is the underlying source or standard for laws that are made? There are certain laws that are accepted almost universally throughout history. Murder is wrong. Stealing is wrong. Attacking someone without provocation is wrong. But why? What is it within us (the human race) that points out what is right and what is wrong? What is our conscience and where does it come from? It is the inner knowledge of what is wrong compared to right that we are all (the human race) born with, and it is placed there by our Creator, God. It is a part of His image that we were created in. But why do we do things that are wrong even when we know they are wrong?
What can be known about God is clear to them because he has made it clear to them. From the creation of the world, God's invisible qualities, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly observed in what he made. As a result, people have no excuse. They knew God but did not praise and thank him for being God. Instead, their thoughts were pointless, and their misguided minds were plunged into darkness. While claiming to be wise, they became fools. They exchanged the glory of the immortal God for statues that looked like mortal humans, birds, animals, and snakes. For this reason God allowed their lusts to control them. As a result, they dishonor their bodies by sexual perversion with each other. These people have exchanged God's truth for a lie. So they have become ungodly and serve what is created rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen! For this reason God allowed their shameful passions to control them. Their women have exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. Likewise, their men have given up natural sexual relations with women and burn with lust for each other. Men commit indecent acts with men, so they experience among themselves the punishment they deserve for their perversion. And because they thought it was worthless to acknowledge God, God allowed their own immoral minds to control them. So they do these indecent things. Their lives are filled with all kinds of sexual sins, wickedness, and greed. They are mean. They are filled with envy, murder, quarreling, deceit, and viciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, haughty, arrogant, and boastful. They think up new ways to be cruel. They don't obey their parents, don't have any sense, don't keep promises, and don't show love to their own families or mercy to others. Although they know God's judgment that those who do such things deserve to die, they not only do these things but also approve of others who do them.
Romans 1:19-32 (GW)
It is obvious even within our own lives that we do things quite often that, if observed in another person, will illicit a response of indignance or offense within us. So we are obviously able to distinguish what is right from what is wrong. Anytime we feel ashamed of or guilty for something we have done, that is our conscience working within us. But at some point if we ignore that inner voice and continue to do things that we know we shouldn’t be doing, we begin to lose our innocence, and the drive to do what is right. This is what brings about the worst thing that can happen to us in this life. Our heart becomes hardened. It is what is commonly referred to as a person who “doesn’t have a heart”. Everyone is born with a “heart”, but some allow theirs to become polluted and corrupted. At that point the “heart” or conscience ceases to function in the manner it was designed to function in. We quit caring. One may still realize that what they are doing is wrong, they just don’t care anymore. If God is the one who places this standard of what is right and wrong within us, what IS that standard?
For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.
Romans 3:23 (NLT)
So from this, we are told that God’s standard for good is nothing less than perfect good. Otherwise, the verse would say something like, “Because most people have sinned, they aren’t perfect, but that’s okay.” Paul clearly defines in the book of Romans that what separates us from God is our bad behavior. ANY bad behavior. Did you know that the word “sin” is actually an archery term that was in use when the King James’ translation of the bible was originally put together? At the time, any shot that did not hit the target directly within the bull’s eye was called a “sin”. Anything less than perfect. So in context, anything within us that is not perfect is considered sin. Why? Because God is perfect. And He cannot reside in any circumstance that does not meet this standard. Jesus lived a perfect life as a testimony of His being One with God the Father. So if Jesus is good, what is it that makes Him good? He is good because He has nothing imperfect within Him. This is the standard of good that is required by God. We use the word so loosely that it has lost its meaning in our time. But if we are to compare our own behavior with any other human regarding our being good, Jesus Christ has been the only human who ever existed who was able to qualify for this designation. No other human can claim to be perfect; therefore no other human has ever been good. Not even Mother Theresa. She did many good works, but even she had a bad day and snapped at someone at least once in her long life. I guarantee it. I’m not saying that we are unable to do good deeds. And maybe we can do those deeds without ulterior motives or not just to make ourselves feel good. But this still cannot change the standard by which we are to judge someone being a good person. You can even go back and re-read the first part of this writing to reexamine the dictionary’s definition of the word good if you need a reminder. The problem lies in how much of our behavior we require in our own minds to be “good” to qualify us as “good”. But anything less than 100% is failure.

Then a man came to Jesus and said, “Teacher, what good deed should I do to gain eternal life?” Jesus said to him, “Why do you ask me about what is good? There is only one who is good. If you want to enter into life, obey the commandments.” “Which commandments?” the man asked. Jesus said, “Never murder. Never commit adultery. Never steal. Never give false testimony. Honor your father and mother. Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” The young man replied, “I have obeyed all these commandments. What else do I need to do?” Jesus said to him, “If you want to be perfect, sell what you own. Give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then follow me!” When the young man heard this, he went away sad because he owned a lot of property.
Matt 19:16-22 (GW)
In this exchange, He was confronting the man to define the word good in his own mind. What made the man call Jesus good? Of course the man was correct, but Jesus wanted the man to look at himself in comparison. Was the man good? Obviously the man realized he wasn’t as good as he thought he was after he recognized his own imperfection regarding materialism.
Not one person has God's approval. No one understands. No one searches for God. Everyone has turned away. Together they have become rotten to the core. No one does anything good, not even one person.
Romans 3:10-12 (GW)
You may then say “But I do good things, so this means that I am not ALL bad”. Let’s look at it this way. If you own a pair of headphones that sound good, but then one side stops working, would you still call them good and continue using them in that condition? Most likely, no. You would either replace them with a new pair or have them repaired. If you chose to have that pair fixed, then you could accurately refer to them as good again. But when something is not serving its intended purpose, or is not functioning correctly, we do not call it good. And if we use that same standard when referring to a person, not one person qualifies for the title of good. This doesn’t mean that anyone is of lesser value than anyone else, but we still cannot accurately call any human other than Jesus good. Understand? It’s all about who you are comparing yourself to. And yes, if we compare ourselves to someone like Hitler, we might be able to consider ourselves good. But what if we compare ourselves to the one person we know for sure is good? It’s just like when you refer to something you own as good. It all depends on what you are comparing it to. You are probably going to consider dirty water good if you haven’t had water for three days.

Yeah right! pt. 1

valid; legally firm; sound; not fallacious; genuine; not counterfeit; acceptable



I have a challenge for you. I am going to list the definitions of each word used above. I then want you to say to yourself “I am _______” using each of the following definitions in the blank spot. I then want you to examine whether or not you live up to each of those definitions consistently. But complete honesty is required in the evaluation, or this will be an exercise in futility.
"Well grounded"
"Unyielding to pressure; solid"
"Free from defect, decay or damage"
"Not Deceptive, Not Dishonest"
"Authentic"
"Not Fake"
"Adequate enough to satisfy a need, requirement or standard; satisfactory"

I think if we are honest with ourselves we have to admit that overall we do not live up to these definitions consistently. Especially those that reference dishonesty or deception. If one says that they are not dishonest or deceptive, I must ask a question. Are you never dishonest or deceptive, or just most of the time? Because if you exhibit a quality randomly from time to time, that quality is obviously a part of who you are, whether positive or negative. It doesn’t necessarily define you, but it is a component of who you are. Intention does not have anything to do with whether or not the quality should be applied or not. You can’t say that a car that has ceased to run is still in working condition just because you plan on having it repaired. That is usually referred to as denial. The key point I’m trying to make here is, you either are something or you are not. Of course there are exceptions, but as you will soon see in the case of the particular quality I am referring to, there is no middle ground. Once again, are you able to fulfill the definitions of the word, as yet unnamed, at the top of the page? No. And neither am I. Are you curious as to what the word defined above is? The word defined at the top of the page is…
Good.
So after this potential revelation, we have been placed in a position of accountability that now eliminates the possibility of ignorance about whether or not we are good. One might claim “But I do my best to do good as much as I can”. This for me brings up the valid observation that if one is trying to be good, it is obviously an effort to be good. This would also leave us in the position to consider that there is another drive within us that prevents us from being good unless we are making an effort. This means that we are not good by our own inclination. Follow? Good intentions do not equal good substance. If one makes a batch of cookies and decides to add an extra cup of sugar to make the cookies even better, they will find as a result of their good intentions that the cookies have been rendered inedible for most people. Even though the baker had the most honorable intentions when he decided to deviate from the original recipe, the good wasn’t evident in the final product.
A bit of a departure here, but you will see the relevance (hopefully) at a certain point.
A famous man in history was bred in a very advantageous environment. He was talented, intelligent as well as charismatic. He had very high grades early on in school. He also had aspirations to be an artist and was a respectable writer. He was able to support himself for a time through his paintings, replicating famous works of art for postcards and pictures. He appreciated operas, especially those of Richard Wagner. He fought in World War I, and was decorated numerous times for acts of bravery. After the war ended he became a popular public speaker, chosen for the position by the army. From this position he was elected to be an observer of local political groups, investigating and reporting on them for the army. He then was elected as the spokesman for one of the parties that he had investigated and become interested in, even though he was officially still in the army.  He was such an effective speaker, that even though there were less than 200 members in his party, he could draw crowds that were 10 times larger than the membership of the party itself. After leaving the army, he continued on in his position of spokesman for his party, also becoming the most successful recruiter and most effective fundraiser in the party, thanks to the paid attendance at his speeches. He eventually was promoted to head of the party, thanks to his successes in the promotion thereof. His growing audience was enamored with his sincerity and determination to bring the country out of the financial problems that it had been experiencing. He was very devoted to his country, demonstrating complete patriotism. He felt that the existing government was oppressive and as a result, formed a new political party in the hopes of defeating the current cabinet. He attempted a coup but he and his supporters were defeated by the government, and sixteen members of his party were killed. He fled to avoid being arrested, but eventually was caught and sentenced to a five year sentence in prison, where he actually served a total of one year. While in prison he also wrote the first volume of a two part book, “My Struggle”. He wrote a second volume of this work after being released from prison. He also resumed full leadership of his political party after his release. He began to build upon the party through the democratic process, allowing the public to decide the future of their country’s leadership by their own volition. As time progressed and the country’s financial situation became worse at the hands of the current political leaders, his own party became more and more appealing due to his support of nationalism. As a result of the party not trying to appeal to the rich or powerful, it was even able to draw people in who had never before voted. He was soon elected leader of his country due to his overwhelming popularity with the public and many who were in positions of political power. He was allowed after his installation as chancellor to replace those in existing positions of power with members of his own party. Inevitably his party came into power over every aspect of the country. He went on to bring his country to the head of world power and affluence. He also had visions and considered himself a prophet. Sounds like a noble, good man doesn’t it? 
The man’s name?



Adolf Hitler.
He had the best of intentions, but his actions were possibly the most destructive of any one man’s in history.
You then might say something to the effect of “But I am not a person who has killed anyone or ordered the genocide of an entire race!” True, but that just clarifies that you are not a murderer. It doesn’t qualify your “goodness”. Many blatantly evil people have not murdered, but are far from being good. So this type of reasoning is logically unsupportive toward that end. And it can be applied to any potential behavior that you might consider the “sin” that makes one bad in opposition to your “goodness”. You don’t steal. I’m guessing that many serial killers never stole either. You get my point? You can not define good by the absence of a particular type of wrongdoing or set of wrong behaviors. You might also assume that you are good because you obey the law, or follow all the rules and regulations. Keep in mind that if you are speaking of laws of society or man, those laws vary from state to state, country to country and community to community. So which laws are right and which are wrong? And what if a law changes? Does this change wrong to right or right to wrong? Abortion is legal in many places. Does that mean it is okay to kill a baby just because someone “chooses” that option to avoid the inconvenient consequences of having sex? And what if someday, the laws are changed to allow theft or murders in certain circumstances, or in regard to a particular group or type of person? Does that mean it is okay for someone to break your car window and steal your CDs because you belong to a certain religious or ethnic group? You may find this to be a ridiculously impossible situation. You might say, “That will never happen.”.